No Drama

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Self care pro Cheryl Richardson's motto is: "Work Hard, Have Fun, No Drama." Pretty good one to follow no? Below is a summary/excerpt of a little article she wrote regarding the topic:

We all get caught up in drama at one time or another. It comes in many forms. Sometimes the drama occurs in our minds -obsessing over something we did in the past, worrying about whether or not we'll get an outcome we desire, or overthinking a problem to death. You know you're caught up in drama when you feel a sense of ongoing, emotional entaglement in a situation - a circumstance that seems to take over your life.

While there are some events that will take time to get resolved, that doesn't mean that you have to suffer. If drama is on your plate, a few things you can do: (1) stop talking about it since doing so only gives more energy to the problem; (2) identify the button pushers -oftentimes drama is fueled by unresolved past issues that get stirred up by present-day problems; (3) visualize a successful outcome for all those involved -put energy into the solution.

There's an old saying that you can't have a war when one side doesn't show up. Be that side. Do what you have to to address the situation and then walk away from the drama. Not only do you give yourself (and the problem) the greatest chance for a successful outcome, more important, you protect your peace of mind - the most valuable gain of all.

To view the entire article, go here.

A Freeing Perspective on Mistakes

While at Barnes and Noble this weekend, I read an uplifting article on the topic of mistakes by Terri Trespicio in Body and Soul magazine. I liked it so much I had to jot down a few excerpts to share and keep as a reminder:

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It's easy in hindsight, to say I shouldn't have done this or that. But we never really know what will happen until we do it. Decisions aren't right or wrong in and of themselves. All you can do is choose what seems right at the time. The fear of doing the wrong thing can be downright paralyzing. But to spend your life tiptoeing through a minefield is no way to live - and will hold you back from making bigger, braver decisions that could change you for the better. If you avoided every possible mistake, you'd be very boring. And that choice, to make it your sole purpose to avoid making mistakes, would in itself be a mistake.

Shift the way that you view a mistake --it's all about attitude. Mistakes can offer a kind of insight and perspective that nothing else does. Think about some past decisions you've made that led you to an opportunity you never would have discovered otherwise. Any action, good or bad, moves you in a new direction whether or not you realize it at the time.

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Isn't this so freeing? I find it so true what she writes--I can think of various of examples of past decisions I labeled as "mistakes" that actually ended up leading me to an opportunity I probably wouldn't have discovered otherwise. What about you --can you think of examples from your life where a "mistake" offered insight, a new perspective, a new opportunity, etc?

State of Limbo

I wrote this while studying "Self and Society" --a course taught by the highly influential Linda Van Leuven P.h.D. whom is one of the persons I credit for giving me a significantly wider perspective on life.

I think most people experience it, a feeling of being in limbo –times in which we have lost our sense of direction because we have left one thing and don’t know where to find the next. And then when you think, “ah, I’m here, I know,” in those moments you can almost be guaranteed that something will come along to put you in groundlessness, to pull the proverbial rug out. Maybe, the point is to stop striving for a place to rest comfortably, to have all loose ends tied, and to “know who you are.” Maybe what is really freeing or radical is to make friends with fluidity, to realize that change is only constant and that the tighter we grasp to an outcome or and idea of how things should be, the more we suffer when they are not that. As young people, we are always told what we should do or be doing. But the question ultimately is –what do I want to do? What makes my “heart sing”? And is it okay to not “know” but to still move forward anyway? Yes, of course!

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

-Eckhart Tolle