Three Weeks Left, Baby

Little girl, you are still so small and dependent. You still need me to pick you up for comfort, follow me around the house in your funny way, and hold tight when we venture out together. You in your sling and me tilted slightly to the left.

You squeal every time you see Sebastian. You miss having him around all day to share his food with you and call you sweetheart but you're not shy about letting him know that YOU WERE PLAYING WITH THAT TOY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

This time last year I was waddling around the neighborhood through piles of crunchy leaves, wondering if all of my contractions meant you were coming early. I was cleaning like a mad woman, finishing off the granny square afghan that is currently laying beside me, and deciding if we should put the birthing tub up early just in case. This year, right now, my heart is swollen with love and a fierce desire to remember every little thing about this time with you.

I get anxious about forgetting the look of pure joy on your face when your daddy dances to Arcade Fire with you, or the way you pump your little arms in frustration when you get mad, and the size of your precious little fingers that are always pointing at things. Maybe it's because I realize how quickly it went with your brother, now a preschooler spelling his name and doing so many things on his own. I have to think hard about what it was like when it was just me and him and a long stretch of day to ourselves.

In three weeks you will have lived your first 365 days of life and will be surrounded by people that love you and hope for so many good things in the years to come. I'm going to remember these days in my heart long after my memory has let the details grow fuzzy.

You're my favorite thing about fall, little girl.

Love,
Mama